Posts Tagged ‘fatigue

16
Aug
10

energy, no mobility

I’m slowly regaining energy, but my mobility is still gone south. Walker, wheelchair, recliner, bed; with occasional dinner table activity.

Advertisements
11
Aug
10

Not Much Energy

Now that I’m home, I’m resting and sleeping a lot; even though it seems as if there’s all the time in the world to post, most of my time is spent either doing the above or trying to build back some strength. It goes so fast (the strength), and doesn’t ever come back all the way.

Congrats to Kristin on her new little boy; congrats to my dad for turning 90. Namaste to all.

12
Jul
10

. . . and Fuzzy on Top

If you compare it to the couple weeks *before* I started the anti-depressant, I’ve been pretty busy:

Cousins Greg and Jeanette came for a “just chatting” visit on a Sunday.

July 4th we went to our neighbor’s, Sharon and Gary, for Independence Day and had a fantastic feed. All four dogs were there and were generally quite calm about the fireworks.

Last Wednesday we had dinner at the Harborside with our friends Shawn and Hope. They’ve always got dozens of funny stories to tell.

Last Thursday Cathy came to visit, and took a picture of me nodding off as she was talking to me. She swears my mouth was not open!

The common ground that all these items have is that I was feeling better emotionally, and my stamina is returning, but that I was totally wiped out at the end.

But with a couple little tweaks in the meds, I think we finally have a winning combination. Too bad I’m scheduled to start chemo tomorrow just when I’m starting to feel good. We’ll find out if the “happy” drugs can hold up their end against the chemo.

In other news, I was scheduled to go to a memorial service for my aunt that died. A couple days before the memorial, I got hit by some sort of intestinal bug that lingered for another couple days after. Brian went and said it was a lovely service.

And a couple nights ago I had a fall. I’ve been using my library steps to climb into bed (but I slide off the bed directly to the ground). This is working pretty well, for the most part. I always pause to see where the dog is before I slide off, and he usually is already up and moving by the time I stop to look. I’m not sure what went wrong this time – all I know is that I must have stepped down on the bottom step, because I felt myself slip and had no way to catch myself. As a result I have a bruised toe that was just healing from having lost the nail (chemo-related); and bruised shin, thigh, and hip on my left side. Ouch!

I will report on the start of chemo – there is a chance that he and I may disagree and we’d delay it for another brief while; I’m quite intent on improving the quality of my chemo life, and he’s all yelling “Treat! Treat! Treat!” We’ll see who’s got the greater will power.

23
Jun
10

The Silence of the Cancer

On my little break from chemo, please don’t be surprised that I am being so quiet – only a little blogging, no phone calls or e-mails. Now that I’ve had time to quit wallowing in the cancer and its treatment, I’m wallowing in my depression. My normal depressive behavior is to do just that – withdraw and keep my feelings to myself.

Fortunately for me, I’ve got Brian here to help keep me sane.

I met with my counselor, Counselor Troi, today, and she took a lot of notes, with the end result that she doesn’t know how I’ve managed to go so long without an anti-depressant. So tomorrow I start one (sorry, the name escapes, me).

The bad news about that is that it’s going to physically depress me for a couple weeks – i.e., low energy, etc. Right in time to just about the time Dr. Medici wants me to start chemo again.

So how am I going to know if it’s working?

Also, Nurse Serenatia called today, and told me what I already knew – it’s going to take months to get back my energy to where it was – months I don’t have.

Thus ends the homily on depression for June 23, 2010.

19
Jun
10

Meeting with Dr. Medici

Well, the meeting went pretty much as I expected, although having been forewarned by my call to the triage nurse last week, Dr. Medici strode right in and took charge.

Basically, he agreed that the toxicity had reached a very high point and it was time to scale back – I think he was hoping I’d agree to a lesser dose, but I was having none of that.

Our agreed-on plan, then, is that I will call him each week to let him know how I’m feeling, and when I’m ready for my next chemo. At that point, we’ll decide on the drug and the dose, and see how it goes.

My goal, that I expressed to him is not to make sure I live as long as possible. It is to enjoy the amount of life I have left with Brian. If the quality of life is good, then maybe it’ll be a long time. If not, then it is what it is.

Right now I’ve got a minimum of 2 weeks before I have to decide, since Dr. M. is out of town through 4th of July.

16
Jun
10

A little beach party

Brian and I headed off to Newport on Thursday afternoon. It was pouring rain when we left, but down to overcast when we arrived. We settled in for the night, watching Happy Feet, and I went to bed early, as is my wont these days.

The next couple days were pretty days, Friday clearing up to be sunny but a little cool. Although I spent most of the day either resting or sleeping, we did make it out to dinner. We watched Shrek as our evening entertainment.

And on Sunday, once again I spent the morning resting or napping, but then suggested we go for a little drive up the 101, a drive being about what I thought I could handle. We drove up to just past Salishan, and turned around. Coming back down, Brian pointed out that I hadn’t eaten much that day, so we stopped at Tidal Raves. We’ve eaten dinner there before, and it was extremely good, so I was a little disappointed in my razor clams. But the floor show made up for it by having 3 Orcas playing just outside the windows.

Sunday was a pretty drive home, but, let’s say it all together, I slept pretty much most of the way. All in all, though, it was about spending some loving time with Brian, who gave me massages and took care of me. I just wish I could return the favor.

13
Jun
10

A Little Work Party

Last Wednesday, my friend Leah had arranged a little work-folks get-together. She came and picked me up, and then dropped me off at the door of Rock Bottom Brewery, where we met with Carrie W., Jenny, Kristin, Shi-Yi, and Wendy. Brian met us there, also, not only to say “Hi”, but as my ride home.

I enjoyed seeing and chatting with everyone, although I was pretty much wiped out after a little overp an hour. Thank you for coming, everyone who could make it; and I’m sorry some of you were either sick or had other plans already – hopefully we’ll be able to visit sometime soon.

Unless the doctor changes my chemo regimen soon, I may be completely limited to home visits, as my energy levels are so low that I sleep all night, and most of the day also. There is an open invitation to come visit, as long as it is arranged in advance; and with the caveat to please call before coming in case I’m having a bad day.




Post archive

October 2017
S M T W T F S
« Oct    
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 33 other followers