. . . I have pneumonia. Again.
The doctor doesn’t know why – I don’t think he really cares why, he just wants to get me over it so he can keep poisoning my body.
Which, most likely, is one of the reasons I have pneumonia again – the compromised immune system can’t beat back those germs [...]
Archive for March, 2009
OK, this is not funny anymore. . .
Posted in breast cancer, cancer, cat, cats, chemo, health, pulmonary embolism, recovery, recurrence, tagged breast cancer, cancer, chemo, julie martin, Levaquin, oncologist, pneumonia, pulmonary embolism, recovery, recurrence on March 27, 2009 | 6 Comments »
Bacheloretting, briefly
Posted in breast cancer, cancer, chemo, health, quilting, recovery, recurrence, tagged bacheloretting, breast cancer, brian, cancer, chemo, fatigue, friends, julie martin, Lord of the Rings movie marathon, neulasta, pain, recovery, recurrence on March 21, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Brian has flown down to visit a friend who lost a sister to colon cancer, and then is going to visit his Mom and help her out with some things she can’t do herself, so I’m alone from last night through next Thursday.
Brian almost didn’t go because he was worried about leaving me alone right [...]
Things I never knew were difficult
Posted in breast cancer, cancer, chemo, health, recovery, recurrence, tagged breast cancer, cancer, chemo, chemo brain, fatigue, julie martin, proofreading, recovery, recurrence, work on March 18, 2009 | 2 Comments »
Today I went into work today (edited to add: included in the list, avoiding redundancy) instead of working from home – even working just over half a day had me sweating and totally wiped out.
I went in because there are some physical things I have to get ready for our tradeshow starting this weekend, and [...]
Did you get the license number. . .
Posted in breast cancer, cancer, chemo, health, recovery, recurrence, tagged cancer, chemo, chemo brain, fatigue, insomnia, julie martin, recovery, recurrence, vision, zombies on March 16, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
. . .of the truck that it feels like just hit me?
Today was one of those days when it feels like the zombies are winning. Or, rather, since I was feeling particularly zombified, that they’re taking over, anyway; since I don’t really feel as if I was winning anything.
The usual pains, fatigue, insomnia, numbness/tingling, bloody [...]
So obvious. . .
Posted in breast cancer, cancer, chemo, health, recovery, recurrence, tagged breast cancer, cancer, chemo, fatigue, insomnia, julie martin, oncologist, recovery, recurrence on March 12, 2009 | 2 Comments »
. . .when I actually stop and think about it.
I have been so down, both physically and emotionally, that I haven’t been *really* thinking. Mind spinning, but nothing getting accomplished.
Finally, this week, I was so wiped out that I physically had to stop. The doctor told me I needed (well, OK, sort of *ordered* me) [...]
Someone gets it. . .
Posted in breast cancer, cancer, chemo, recovery, recurrence, tagged breast cancer, cancer, Cathy, chemo, depression, friends, friendship, julie martin, recovery, recurrence on March 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Don’t get me wrong – I know there are a lot of people out there who have or have had cancer and know (even more so than I) how scary, stressful, and depressing it is. Just look at the books out there, the famous people who have had cancer, the people who blog about having [...]
Flashbacks, non-acid-related
Posted in breast cancer, cancer, chemo, health, knitting, recovery, recurrence, tagged Agatha Christie, cancer, chemo, Death in the Clouds, julie martin, knitting, reading, recovery, recurrence, The Sound and The Fury, The Wizard of Oz, William Faulkner on March 10, 2009 | 1 Comment »
It just occurred to me when I felt this exact same way – unable to concentrate on books, knitting, work, movies; and even more, when I really didn’t *want* to concentrate on anything – it was after my mastectomy in September of ‘07, and for about 7 or 8 weeks afterward. Admittedly, I had another [...]
March 9, 2009
Posted in breast cancer, cancer, chemo, recurrence, tagged adriamyacin, breast cancer, cancer, chemo, fatigue, insomnia, julie martin, nausea, peripheral neuropathy on March 9, 2009 | 1 Comment »
Definitely starting to feel the build-up of side effects, and at least one new one.
I’ve been spending a lot of time sleeping this weekend and this afternoon – as well as sleeping through the night the last three nights (hey, that’s nearly unheard of for me recently – mostly I’ve had insomnia). The bone and [...]
Prisoner of . . .
Posted in breast cancer, cancer, recurrence, tagged breast cancer, cancer, friends, julie martin, pessimism, recurrence on March 8, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Arthur & George, by Julian Barnes, pg 198:
“Some prisoners counted off each day until their future release; George could only get through prison life by treating it as the only life he had or could ever have.”
When I read that, it felt so true. I guess I’m really a prisoner of my own mindset about [...]
Whether the stone hits the pitcher, or the pitcher hits the stone . . .
Posted in breast cancer, cancer, health, recovery, recurrence, tagged breast cancer, cancer, complete strangers, doctors, family, friends, julie martin, nurses, support groups on March 1, 2009 | 1 Comment »
. . . it’s going to be bad for the pitcher.
For pretty much all of my adult life, I’ve always seen myself as the stone. I learned to become the stone, because it hurts to be the pitcher. So I became the stone, *believed* I was the stone. Even when I clearly was the pitcher, [...]
